Random thoughts on a Friday night

It was a tough week: me being sick and having tons and tons of work to do and not being able to do it as well as I wanted to. Frustrating. We had an extension for our aircraft design project (2 more days) and I'm glad we did. So I basically have till monday to finish typing my report. It's going to be a busy week-end as we also have two midterms next week. Plus I need to keep my PhD research going. I pull an allnighter this week because our aircraft stuff was originally due this afternoon. And I realize that I don't recover from it as well as I used to. Some time ago I could sleep 3 hours a night for 5 days in a row and would still be pretty much OK. I can't anymore. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or because I'm still recovering from this crazy year, but damn, I feel like a wreck. As painful as 2006 was, I learnt my lesson and I don't think I want to put my health and life at stake as I did so many times this year. Is it really worth it after all? I always put work before everything else, because I enjoyed it so much. I still do. But is it making me a better person? I'm not sure I want my life to be "work and die". I want to keep travelling, experiencing new things, get to know people and still be intellectually challenged. I don't want this to stop. That's probably why I'm still at school ;) I just have a tendency to push things too far sometimes. I'm just so enthusiastic about almost everything! Maybe I should learn to let go a bit... Damn so many questions and not a single answer! I'm not as afraid of what I'm going to do with my life as I used to be. I think I got some self-confidence (it was about time). My concern now is to find somebody to share things with and get some kind of balance. Somebody in Oregon would say I'm asking myself waaaayyy too many questions. And that person would be right. I guess the trick is not to forget about the big picture, which for me would be: "Be good, do good, feel good" and to accept the fact that things rarely happen the way you expect them to.

Hey Rocky, about the email you sent today. Yes, it happened, it wasn't a dream. Yes you lived in France, went to school with a bunch of crazy folks, had Tarte Flambee to the point you got sick of it, lived with a giant Canadian and a crazy French girl. It was the heck of a life experience. I feel sad some time too when I go through our pics or remember what we went through. But don’t make the same mistake I made when I came back from the US a year ago. Don’t lock yourself in the past. Build on it. Keep moving forward. I know it's hard. I miss you.